On Safari

We went to Yellowstone last week.  Brian and I have decided that this is the American version of going on safari.  Really, how is this experience all that different from doing the same in Africa?  Besides the lack of a guide, and the fact that all the roads are paved?  We were even able to open the sunroof on our minivan and stick our heads out with binoculars to examine the animals!

And don’t try to tell me it isn’t as exotic.  For instance, we saw this one herd of bison:

And then this coyote totally came out of nowhere and started chasing them around!

(Yeah, the coyote’s there.  It’s that little white speck in the middle of the picture.)

The showdown between the bison and the coyote was about to get intense, when guess who showed up?

THE AVENGING BEAR OF THE BLACKTAIL PLATEAU!!

DUN DUN DUUUUUN!

I would have driven off with the kids right then and there, but the road was blocked:

The fox, a neutral party, wanted us to stick around as witnesses.  As much as I would have loved to stick around for some bear-on-bison-on-coyote action, I knew I couldn’t expose my kids to such horrors.  They’re so sensitive!  I mean, just look how traumatized they were by this hot spring:

(Note how William is sulking.  Alas, there is absolutely no way to make a hot spring interesting to a three year old.  “Draw near, my son!  Now’s our chance to see water boiling!“)

Poor little dears!  Thank goodness a geyser went off right then and scared all the savage beasts off.

BUT . . . right as the super-rare, once-in-a-lifetime* geyser shot into the air, A WHOLE PACK OF WOLVES came running out of the forest, and the moon came down all big and full in the background, and the WHOLE PACK began to howl, and I took about 1,000,000 photos of the whole thing and sold them to this t-shirt company, and they’re going to sell the shirts at truck stops all over the place!

And we’ll be rich!  Rich as MILLIONAIRES!  MWA HA HAAAA!

Of course, I can’t show you the wolf picture.  That would by copyright infringement . . . on myself.  Yeah.

*or at least every hour and a half, +/- ten minutes

4 thoughts on “On Safari

  1. I like the safari analogy. I’m seriously impressed by these national geographic choreographed animal encounters. We keep talking about doing a National Parks summer road trip. Right now it kind of sounds like torture, so I think we’ll wait a few more years.

    1. No, go for it! Brian and I regret that we didn’t get to see the east coast parks (like Acadia NP) while we were still in the East-ish.

      What part of the trip sounds like torture? The driving part, or the hiking with kids part?

  2. Awesome! We just experienced a little of ZIon’s and it was so beautiful! All we saw was a lizard and a bunch of tourists though.

    1. Lizards and tourists! Yeah, Zion isn’t the best for wildlife, although Brian and I did once see a porcupine there. (Right next to the trail! It was incredible.)

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